The Covino & Rich Show

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We kicked of this Wed-nes-day with Covino and Rich telling all the dudebros out there what their plans are for Christmas and over the next week while we are all on vacation. Over the next two days Covino and Rich will have a skit called the Ghosts of Xmas past, which they promise will be badass. Then they went into great detail about the original programming that they have created for next week. Covino and Rich decided not to just play old shit like most of the other shows around here do, so below is what they have in store for us, they specifically told me not to go into too much detail here because they want everyone to be surprised:

                Monday: Cool Celeb Moments of 09’

                Tuesday: Covino and Rich Fired Up

                Wednesday: Covino and Rich’s Ass Wednesday

                Thursday: C&R Excellent Adventure

                Friday: C&R Power Move

After giving the dudebros their update we moved on to briefly talk about how President Obama called into a radio show (WTOP) incognito as Barry from DC so that he would get on the air without causing a fuss. This made us think about our friend Barry, aka Barnando, who calls in from time to time. We decided that although it would be badass to have the President call into the C&R show, Barnando is just too awesome; I mean he has his own theme song, Barrack doesn’t have that.

Then as a quick gear change we started to talk about the new Karate Kid movie that is staring Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. The new movie is almost a complete change from the original which is a classic; the ethnicity of the characters has changed, instead of being in the US the movie takes place in China, it’s ridiculous. Covino is outraged that they can even do this to a classic 80s movie and all of our callers agreed. Bottom line, no one can be better than Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio) or Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) from the original movie.

When we were done talking about the nonsense that is the new Karate Kid movie we decided to take a look back on 2009 to talk about the best Viral Videos that we got to see on the Interweb; below is our top 5 list given to us by Mikey Piff, the number one DJ from the Morning Mash Up:

5) Evian Roller Babies

4) New Moon Trailer

3) JK Wedding Entrance Dance

2) David After Dentist

1) Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent

But just in case you don’t agree we are also giving you Spike.com’s top 10 list. People were calling in left and right and we giving us videos to watch left and right. Most of them I had heard already but being reminded of them was great. Others were new to me and those seemed even better to me. Covino and Rich decided that 2009 wasn’t as great a year for Viral Videos as were some years in the past and that they are taking it upon themselves to become Viral Video stars in 2010.

Finally the calls about the Viral Videos died down and we had the pleasure of being joined in the studio by Jeff the Jerkman, who according to Covino and Rich makes the best Jerky ever. He sat with us for a while, talked about his Jerky making and answered some caller’s questions. Then Covino and Rich decided to take the Jerkman under their wing to make sure that he will be a man in 2010 and be an ass getting machine.

After the Jerkman stepped down from the Mic a fucking hysterical man by the name of Gary Gulman stepped up. For those of you who don’t know Gary Gulman was on the Last Comic Standing television show for two seasons and Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. This man is definitely one of the kings of comedy and he makes me laugh so hard on a consistent basis that I think my ribs are about to break. Gary was her to shoot the bull and just to make us laugh; he succeeded. We talked about our first jerk off stories and then had Gary bring up his favorite Viral Videos, then we brought up the fact that being famous could either help you get ass or alienate you. Before Gary had to leave he dropped a bomb on us, apparently there are only two Xmas songs that you can bang to; Santa Baby and Baby it’s cold outside. 

Gary got called away to do another interview so we decide to talk about a topic that is very much swoot; all the celebrity deaths that occurred in 2009. We were talking about the mass number of celebs that died this year, including Michael Jackson, Farah Faucet, Patrick Swayze and many others. According to Covino and Rich the Grim Reaper was the number one overworked person this year. This brought up the subject about how people cannot help but look into people’s deaths, the number one Google search is for a picture of Brittany Murphy’s death, this just proves that people are actually sick in the head.

Since the subject of celeb deaths was too swoot for Rich we decide to change it up and talk about Sports instead. Covino gave us an update on the Yankees and how they are systematically trading away the team that won the world series and then Rich brought up a question that he had been pondering, why do so many teams sweat Japanese players, only 3 have been worthwhile and yet many teams are getting players that haven’t proven themselves yet just because they come from Japan. Then Covino brought up the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight and how Pacquiao refuses to do Olympic style drug testing before the fight, we will keep you posted on what comes from this.

Then Rich pulled an audible so we could talk about Handshakes and how the Jerkman, when he was in the studio, almost broke Rich’s hand. Rich was wondering if a handshake that is too strong is douchey or authoritative. Then we talked about handshake dominance depending on how a person enters into the handshake. This topic seemed crazy to me because it is not something that people consciously think about; not to say people don’t recognize a strong or weak handshake but come on…

To finish off the show Rich asked Covino if there were any performers that he discovered this year. Covino said that he decided to like Lil Wayne this year and to stop bashing him and then Covino brought up the show Sing Off and how they had Bobby McFerrin on. Covino originally believed that Bobby, the singer of Don’t Worry Be Happy, was a one hit wonder, but he actually is like a one man band.

We did a lot today and will be back after the holidays, so make sure you catch us on the air. Happy Holidays everyone and although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

News Alerts

T.I. is out of prison, served 7 months for purchasing guns

Steven Tyler is in rehab for pain killers, there is no official word on Aerosmith breaking up

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

Before getting into anything we did today, I would like to bring something up that was discussed yesterday. While we were talking about undershirts and button downs I tried to speak up but was quickly shut down by Rich telling me that I have no style. I told him the challenge was accepted and stepped it up today and fulfilled the challenged with flying collars. That’s right I look good today and Rich recognized that he was just speaking shenanigans’ yesterday.

Now that that’s done I can talk all about what we did on this Pussification of America Tuuuesday. Rich felt that a good way to start the show today was bring up a Porn Star that he recently found online named Annette Schwartz. What brought her to Rich’s attention was that she deep throated the male Porn Star Lexington Steel who is well known in the Porn world as having a monster cock. Rich didn’t really feel like getting much out of this, he just wants all the dudebros out there to check this nussie out.

After introducing Annette Schwartz, Covino and Rich decided to fulfill a request made by a dudebro in need. One of our dudebros out there named Ben wrote us an email discussing his battle with testicular cancer all year and his upcoming surgery that will hopefully be one of his last. Ben asked that we would toast nussies because he will be out of commission for the next couple of weeks and most likely will not be able to listen in. So in honor of Ben, raise your glasses and Toast all the Nussies!

Once we helped Ben out, Covino and Rich brought up Tiger Woods again, and how his wife Elin is asking for $300 million in the divorce. We all know the law and understand that Elin is entitled to have half the money Tiger earned while they were together but isn’t $300 million a little excessive. Rich feels like Elin is looking for revenge and that she doesn’t need or deserve all that money, but Covino feels that Tiger is a dirt bag and said that he knows that this money isn’t just for Elin, but for Tiger’s kids as well. This conversation went back and forth for a while but we couldn’t come up with a final thought on the topic. We all agreed that Tiger screwed up big time and that he deserves no sympathy, but Elin was a nanny before Tiger married her, now she gets mad loot because Tiger fucked up; it just doesn’t seem just.

When we finally stopped talking about Tiger we got into the Pussification of America which happens to be my favorite skit on the show. The first one is an Xmas Pussification and it deals with Santa and how some D-bag named Doctor Nathan Grills said that Santa shouldn’t be a positive figure because he is obese and he speeds in his sleigh. The second story has to do with a school teacher who told her kids to draw on a piece of paper what Christmas means to them, one child drew a picture of Jesus on the cross with his eyes covered with X’s because, of course, Jesus is dead. Now this kid is going to be psychoanalyzed because this teacher freaked out. The final story is about a 4 year old kid with long hair that reaches down to the middle of his neck getting kicked out of his school because of his haircut. Apparently the school this has strict guidelines and refuses to allow this kid back into school until he cuts his hair. For the love of God, grow up America, take back your manhood and stop being so pussy; people are attacking the fantasy  figure of Santa, a child’s picture is sending him to a shrink and a 4 year old is being punished because of his hair, it’s not like the kid is actually doing anything wrong. What’s next America, a cop pulling a gun at a snowball fight? Oh wait that happened yesterday!

After we got over the outrage that is the Pussification of America we started to talk about what Rich should get Sara’s parents for the holidays. Rich and Sara are newly engaged and he wants to get Sara’s dad something that will be useful, but at the same time won’t be too extravagant. People were calling in with gift ideas but Rich only thought a couple were a good idea. One of the better ideas was something to do with guitars since Sara’s dad likes music and shit like that. Covino said that people should stop focusing on Rich because this segment was supposed to be for all guys out there, but no one seemed to get it.

Once Rich had more than enough gift ideas for Sara’s parents we switched gears to talk about something that Spot, our producer, brought to our attention. Spot says that he doesn’t have time to go to the gym, but we know that when people say they don’t have time to do something they are full of shit and actually have the time but just don’t want to do what you are asking. Of course some people actually don’t have enough time to take a shit but these people are in the minority. We took this opportunity to rag on Spot, since we always take the opportunity when it is presented to us. Spot was outraged and said that we only work 3 hours a day so we wouldn’t know anything about not having enough time to do something, we see his point but we didn’t let up, because frankly, we don’t have to.

Spot finally walked out of the studio we got to talking about songs that are ruined once they are involved in commercials or video games. Such as love and marriage by Sinatra that was killed by Married with Children or the Rockwell song that is in the Geico commercials. We received so many callers during this skit we couldn’t believe it, apparently there are many people out there that are as pissed as us about all the songs that the television and video game worlds ruin.

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

News Alerts

Original Rain Man, Kim Peek, died this weekend at 58

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We started this Monday off with a little conversation on the weekend’s weather here in New York and where Covino is in Cali. Covino was sitting back in the sun living it up in 70-80 degree temperatures while Rich and I were stuck here in New York during the snow storm. We talked briefly about how some people hate the snow but we all think that the occasional blizzard is welcome and enjoyed by most. Bringing up the snow made Rich and Covino reminisce about their youth and how much fun snow ball fights were. Everyone knows that as a kid preparing for a snowball fight is like preparing for war, you get so excited, you grab your friends and you go out ready for whatever, nothing can stop you.

After talking about the weather and snowball fights we moved on to talk about Covino’s Sunday Night. Layla, his lady, brought him to a nice steak dinner in a 80s throwback hotel which he loved and then took him to the Nokia theatre to see George Lopez, who he respects because of their Latino bond. Covino while admiring George Lopez developed a new theory about haircuts. Covino dislikes when older people dress young so his theory states that, the older you get you have to stop dressing young and dress your own age, but you have to have a relevant haircut. Putting aside his theory Covino thinks that his woman went above and beyond and he had a great time with her.

Once we heard about Covino’s good night we heard from Rich about something Swoot that happened to him yesterday while he was watching football with his dad. After the games were over Rich went to leave and he realized that there was a gash on his driver’s side door. According to Rich it looked like someone with a plow slashed his door because it wasn’t so much a dent as it was a rip, and his door handle was busted. He said the worst part is that since it was a hit and run the police report could do nothing for him and therefore he will be stuck paying the insurance deductable. Rich was outraged and declared that anyone who does this bullshit is a scumbag asshole douche bag.

After our first break where Rich visibly calmed down Covino told us about a terrible product called Booty Pop. This is just the latest thing to come out in nussie false advertising that is making men everywhere angry. Booty Pop is underwear that has built in butt pads that goes over regular underwear to make other people think that a nussie has a better ass than she actually does. This isn’t like a minor change either; it is a significant change that gives the allusion of having a bubble ass. We decided that this is worse than pushup bras, excessive makeup and all other things that nussies do to trick men. This conversation brought up the question: If you bring home a girl thinking she has a nice ass and it turns out that she is wear ridiculous butt pads do you send her home without dessert or do u bang out anyway? Products like this make me very angry because I don’t like to be fooled, especially when it comes down to a nice ass.

Moving on from the disgrace that is Booty Pop we started to talk about an email that Rich received that dealt all about giving your boss a holiday gift. The email that Rich received from Doug in Houston stated that Doug isn’t getting a holiday bonus since his company is not doing so well and therefore Doug wonders if he is still obligated to get his boss a little something for the holidays. Covino said that is shouldn’t be expected but also that if your boss is a cool, good guy then you should want to get the guy a gift. From here the conversation morphed into talking about giving service people gifts when you are not planning on giving your friends and family something. Rich feels bad about this and says that it is kind of like showing your family and friends that you don’t care as much about them, I completely disagree and would hope that my family and friends would see it as necessity, it isn’t like I want to give some people gifts and leave others out. The thought here is that your friends and family should understand when you aren’t exchanging gifts but service people need the money more and have the capability to fuck with you if they don’t get their usual holiday tip. If you have been giving your garbage man a holiday tip every year because he takes away things from your curb that he probably shouldn’t; the first time you don’t give him that money he stops helping you.

Kicking off the last hour of the show Covino and Rich decided to announce the winner of their beat the caption contest that was hosted on the forum. The caption had to deal with a Rich thought bubble when he and Covino are with Barry Sanders, Rich is on the side thinking and Covino is doing work. They read the top five captions and decided that Jay Hare on twitter had the best caption that involved Spot our producer; we liked that he included different aspects of our show.

Then without warning Covino decided to call an audible and change the conversation to talk about how T-shirts should go under button downs. He brought this up because earlier in the show Rich mentioned that the button down he is wearing is hurting his nipples. We talked about the discomfort of wearing an undershirt but also added that sometimes they are necessary. This brought up wife beater shirts and who wears them, we figure it’s mostly Italians but we cannot say that they are the only ones. I tried to add my two cents but Rich cut me off and pretty much said I have no style; I told him that I accept his challenge and will prove my steez tomorrow.

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

News Alerts

Brittany Murphy died yesterday at 32

Today is the official first day of Winter

Kevin Jonas of the Jonas Brothers got married this weekend and has most likely lost his V Card by now

Avatar opened this weekend and made $73 million

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We kicked off this Thursday with a little beat boxing from Covino and Rich straight off the Ticklesack Deuce album all about Spot and how he loves to eat baloney. We brought this up because Rich found out that there are YouTube videos out there that are all about teaching people how to beat box. Talking about beat boxing got us into a conversation all about A Cappella and if it is gay or not. Apparently there is a new show called Sing Off that is just like that dancing show except with A Cappella singing. We were sitting there wondering why people believe this stuff to be gay but we couldn’t figure it out. Our best attempt at grasping this was that most people who do this, roughly 91%; are really lame and therefore people think that everyone who does this is real gay. However, we know that there are roughly 9% of people who are really good at it, I mean look at Covino and Rich and what they have done with Ticklesack. We believe that harmonizing and melody became a gay thing in high school when kids had to pick between sports and band, the jocks didn’t want to be around the “fags” that sung in the band and those people never grew out of it. The final thought on the subject was that before the 90s it was cool enough, but then all boy bands came out in their full gayness and ruined everything.

After our first break we got to talking about Fat Asses and if an ass can be too fat. Covino says that asses are like houses and TV screens, they can never be too big, but Rich disagrees fully. We received a calendar by Ice-T’s wife Coco and some of us thought she was hot and some thought she was not; this brought us onto the fat ass topic because Coco has a FAT ASS! Covino thinks Coco’s ass is like “TA DOW,” but Rich thinks she is gross and stated on air that he is afraid of her ass. This sparks a very philosophical debate over asses and it ended up with everyone with the exception of Rich agreeing that the fat ass is nice; Rich’s true whiteness finally came out, but he admitted at least, that he hates a flat ass, like most of us do…

Once we got over the Fat Ass topic we moved on to talk about a sad story. Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals died at age 26 today during a dispute with his wife to be. They were in an argument and the nussie decided to peel out in their pick-up truck, Henry apparently didn’t approve of that so he jumped into the bed of the truck and a half mile later fell out and sustained life threatening injuries. Law enforcement is now determining if this was a tragic accident or a homicide, I guess they have to figure out if the nussie knew Henry was in the truck and deliberately speed up to fuck with him. We will keep you posted as we find out what’s good.

Right after the second break we played the new clip from the Iron Man 2 trailer. I happen to be a huge fan of most of the Comic Book movies and think that this movie is going to be sick. We discussed the entrance of the War Machine character that is going to be played by Don Cheadle instead of Terrance Howard, which really pisses Covino off, and the character Whiplash that will be played by Mickey Rourke, who looks completely bad ass. We think that Terrance Howard asked for too much money and that is why he was passed over for the Cheadle. Cheadle doesn’t seem to have the capability to be badass but we give him a try.

Moving on we discussed Rich’s engagement and his theory on Wedding Rings. Rich heard that when men are wearing wedding rings more women approach him; we even played a clip from Seinfeld to back it up. Covino said that women believe that a guy with a wedding ring is easier and safer to talk to, but Rich said maybe it has something to do with the fact that women want to see if they can get with a married man. Covino said guys shouldn’t think too much of themselves. A full social experiment needs to be done; we will wait for the results…

We finished up the day with a challenge for our producer Spot. Our Xmas party is being held in the Sirius lobby instead of outside of the company, therefore we want Spot to become Extreme Spot for the Party and actually party like he was elsewhere. Good Luck Spot.

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

News Alerts

Spot was in the Choir when he was in high school…Fag or not, you decide!

Iron Man 2 coming out in 2010

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We started off this Wed-nes-day with a strong statement by Covino, he believes that we have the best show on all of Sirius Radio. We had to back up this statement so we went to our defacto consigliore Spot and he told us that Covino is correct, we do indeed have the best show period.

Then we had a John Basedow watch update. JB continually plugs our show when he goes onto other television or radio shows, most recently he dropped our name in DC on the Elliot Show.

After our JB watch update Rich told us a story about his trip to the gym yesterday, yes the one that smells like Indian people. Just to let everyone know Rich now says it smells like Indian food because he doesn’t want to be racist, but Covino and I will not let him live it down. Anyway, Rich went up to a trainer that he worked out with when he first started going to the gym years ago to tell him that with his help learning how to work out he was able to stay in the gym and get in shape. Rich expected the guy to be happy about it and be proud that he helped Rich get in shape, but the guy didn’t care at all, patted Rich on the back and said “good for you.” This brought us onto the topic of Rich’s complements and how they always have a tinge of sleaze. He expects people to bow down to him when he gives them complements because he is RICH DAVIS, unfortunately for Rich it doesn’t always go down like that.

Once Rich learned that people don’t have to bow down him we started to talk about the show Jersey Shore. In my opinion this show is the best worst television show on TV right now. Some of the cast members were on Letterman last night and they continue to make a fool of themselves; therefore America will continue to watch them do so.

After we stopped laughing about the hilarity that is the Jersey Shore show we moved on to discuss the best band of the decade. Apparently the answer is Nickelback and I never would have guessed it. Rich played a clip of a bunch of their songs and every single one was a big hit so I guess they deserve it. Good job Nickelback…

After the mass amount of callers we had on Nickelback, all about whether they deserve the title or not, we got to talking about Rich’s maintenance man, Nelson, and how Rich thinks that he is a scam artist. Rich continually has the guy come up to his apartment to fix small things only to realize that there is another small problem. Every time Nelson comes up Rich gives the guy a tip and he feels that the guy is creating small problems on purpose which would mean he is a genius scam artist. Talking about Rich tipping Nelson got us onto the topic of when and how much someone should tip another person. Personally I think tipping should be infrequent, when someone does an exceptionally good job, you shouldn’t get a tip for doing your job. If you tip too frequently people start to expect the tip and the first time it doesn’t come people are not going to work as hard as they used to for you.

After hearing about Rich’s latest conspiracy we were joined in the studio by a very attractive woman by the name of Claudia Opdenkelder from Cougarlife.com. Claudia is 39 years old and she is dating a 25 year old so she considers herself a cougar. Covino said that Claudia is an exception to the rule because as a 39 year old she is still mad hot. We talked about the dynamic of an older woman dating a younger guy; Claudia said that she has a fast paced life style so she needs a younger guy that can keep up with her. She said that other guys that want to meet ladies like her should go to her website.

After Claudia left and we finished discussing hot smoking hot that Cougar was we accepted a phone call from our good friend Barnando. Covino made him brought up an important coming of age story, Barnando at 33 had his first hemorrhoid and apparently it is the size of a grape. According to Covino this ass boil is blocking his asshole.

Barnando said he would be in tomorrow to talk about some life lesions he has learned so we decided to move onto our next topic, all the old TV characters that were ambiguously gay. We talk about many shows from the 70s that I never heard of. Some of the characters mentioned were:

Jonathon from Who’s the Boss

Rerun from What’s Happening  

Buddy Linback from Charles in Charge

Snagglepuss from Hanna-Barbera

Lisa Simpson from the Simpsons

Uncle Arthur from Bewitched

Joe from the Facts of Life

These are just a few of the many that people were calling in to tell us about. Apparently before my times every character on TV was gay but couldn’t come out, now however we got the comical gay character on every single TV show.

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We kicked off our show today with a bit of interesting news. Today is the 5 year anniversary of the C&R show and much to their embarrassment Covino and Rich have not had a relationship that lasted longer than the one they have with each other. Congrats Covino! Congrats Rich! To show all the listeners how much they have changed we played the first minute of their first show and got to experience how green the guys were.

After that brief bit of news we performed one of our famous past times on the show, making fun of Rich. Rich just got into Law and Order, only about 5 years too late. We asked if he just saw the new movie Back to the Future or if he picked up the newest Huey Lewis and the News CD that features their hit song the Power of Love…I mean common Rich get with the times, stick to shows like Dexter.

Then we really got into this Pussification of America Tuuuesday with a discussion about how listeners feel when they are listening to the C&R show. Do you feel like a part of the show or like an owner or customer or anything of the kind? We got some great input from our listeners who believe that we do a good job of including them in the show. Most people believed that just because they subscribe to Sirius doesn’t mean that they own part of the show or anything like that. End of the line people listen to our show because they like to, if they don’t they can change the channel.

This briefly got us into our Pussification territory when we started to talk about how fucked up being Politically Correct is. There is a new rule here at Sirius radio which was made so people on the air would not respond to their hate mail without giving it to customer service first. Now people can write and tell Covino and Rich how they feel, but now Covino and Rich cannot reply and stand their ground. Apparently telling people to fuck off isn’t allowed anymore. This drives me crazy, someone can tell you off but when you tell them to suck a dick you’re the bad guy. The customer isn’t always right! This is Pussification at its finest.

After our first break we came back on the air with a very comical and well done Ticklesack song all about Tiger Woods. Covino then dropped his Tiger Woods theory, Tiger is like the Trinity killer from Dexter, he is a serial cheater, he bangs 3 girls in each city; a wannabe random girl, a call girl, and a girl with something to lose…Covino believes that after everyone comes forward there will have been 18 nussies that Tiger banged, a masterpiece that once finished he can retire. He is at 14 nussies now so he still has some work to do or some ladies need to step it up and call Tiger out.

After the Tiger nussie update we moved on to talk about how Covino went to Santa’s Workshop yesterday so he could take family pictures with Santa. Covino brought up the feeling kids have when the go to see Santa in the mall and how they are nervous but excited. He said that the feeling doesn’t go away when you’re an adult, Covino called the goof ball actor Santa and said that he was even thinking of sitting on the dude’s lap.

Continuing on with the Xmas theme we moved on to talk about Christmas songs that everyone loves and some that just piss people off. My personal favorite and the song that means Christmas is near is Dominic the Donkey. The song that was hated the most is Grandma got run over by a reindeer. We had a lot of callers and I learned about many new Xmas songs that I never heard of before. We listened to so many songs that they all started to blend together at the end. Before we moved onto our next topic we played Frosty the Snowman which will forever be a classic.

Moving past Christmas Songs we discussed an email that Covino got that stated all the clichés that he is no longer allowed to say on the air. This letter was addressed to the Rock DJs and it is 3 pages long. It is straight retarded, one example is that Covino cannot say “up next here we have a little ____”  because some fools out there might actually believe that only a little of the song will play. Since people are interfering with Covino’s business he created a list of things that you should not say for other people’s businesses:

1)      Pick your brain

2)      Throw it against the wall and see what sticks

3)      Sweat equality

4)      It’s not rocket science

5)      The ball’s in your court

6)      Drill down

7)      I, Personally

8)      Very Unique

9)      Past History

10)   Urgent/Crisis

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We kicked off this Friday with a trivia question from Rich about who coined the term “Covino and Rich are tight like Lilo and Stitch.” Covino said that Rich should stop asking questions that he does not know the answer to, but Rich continued on. When it came down to answering the question Rich said that it was some amateur rapper that they had on the show during their first or second year when anyone could just walk into the studio. Covino started cracking up because Rich didn’t have any name to give and therefore believed he was right, I couldn’t find any fault here so sorry Rich.

Once we got past Rich’s brief trivia we started to talk about Oprah’s intro to her show and how she yells everyone’s name when they first walk in. We think that this is very annoying but figured that we might give it a shot. We started talking about who we would introduce in true Oprah fashion but decided that it would be hysterical to take somebody who isn’t really that famous and hype them up when they enter the studio. Hello everyone today we have KATHY GRIFFIN!

 Then we briefly talked about what the C&R crew liked most about the 5 year special that aired early in November and then again over thanksgiving week. We mentioned a couple of things that we shoved aside but when we started talking about Covino’s woman Layla and how they first met. Covino was calling her at all times of the day and night and acting like it was a work call. Covino said that he did what he needed to do to get the woman he wanted and that’s all there is to it.

After we discussed our favorite things from the special we talked about something that Rich realized a couple of days ago, Covino constantly acts like a dumbass so he can get Spot to do things for him. Spot was in the studio when we started this skit and he went off like a wild man. His rage got the best of him and he started yelling at Covino intensely. Apparently he doesn’t want to print anymore and he decided that from now on he is going to charge to do so. We talked about how kids do this to their parents and how guys do this to their ladies. We figure why do something that you hate when someone else can do it three times faster than you can. Spot took the cake during this skit though.

After Spot calmed down we moved on to talk about Tiger Woods, like we have been doing frequently because he got himself into so much shit. Apparently wives and girlfriends all over the place are starting to doubt them. They think that if Tiger Woods cheats then who doesn’t…they find themselves thinking about loyalty. We got to this topic because Covino’s woman called him at 3am last night to talk about how upset she was about Tiger. She told Covino that if he was going to cheat he should use a high end prostitute and not some random nussie so that she wouldn’t be disgraced.

The Tiger Woods shit snowballed into a discussion about what type of girl is better to cheat on your woman with a regular old nussie or a hooker. Covino argued that hookers are a safer bet because they don’t develop feelings. Regular nussies cannot help but start to feel for the guy and try to create a romantic link and then both up their spots. However we heard from a wise caller that using a hooker shows intent to cheat. This topic, in my opinion, cannot be solved because everyone sees this differently. This topic ended with the view from both sexes about the worst way to cheat. According to females the worst their guy can do is develop feelings for the other person, according to males the worst thing their girl can do is suck another guy’s cock.

When we moved past the cheating debacle we received a phone call from Covino and Rich’s good Dudebro Stan the Tech expert. We asked Stan about Surround sound systems and other Tech shit that will be important during the holiday season. Stan knows his shit and was down to drop some knowledge for all the Dudebros out there. Covino believes that everyone should have a surround sound system by 2010 because it’s legit and shows that you care about your home. The last thing that we talked about was the Droid phone and the comparison to the iPhone; unfortunately Stan didn’t have an inside scoop on this but he believes that people will flock to use the Droid because it is new and people always want the newest thing available.

After our second break we got into our News Alerts that can be seen below…During the news alerts we got to talking about how little the Grammys mean now. This started when we brought up how many nominees Taylor Swift has. Covino thinks she is a bubble gum performer and that she doesn’t even deserve to be in the top performer category, but Rich completely disagreed; this sparked a whole debate over the Grammys and the types of music Covino and Rich listen to, this was the second time today where red faces were seen all around.

We did a lot today and will be back on Monday, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

New Alerts for the Day:

Jersey Shore premiered last night for 2 hours on MTV, Covino was upset because he knows Guidos that would have really fit on the show

Nussie News: Sunmaid Raisin lady has been nussified, she is showing cleavage and looking good

Tiger Woods could be paying to keep the nussies quiet, this shocks people?

Porn Update: iPhone is releasing a XXX apps, it’s about time

Grammy awards are now bullshit, are these really the best artists or are they puppets of the music industry

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We started off today with our Christmas intro for the first time this year, just to get into the holiday mood. It is crazy how much time flies by; this year has just passed so quickly. Covino brought up the drop in sales after Black Friday and we started to talk about how crappy Christmas is going to be this year because of how tight everyone’s wallet is.

Then we did some brief updates of the C&R cast: Rich talked about his new apartment and the hassle of moving, Spot talked about his girlfriend’s failure to find friends on craigslist and Covino gave us some info on his daughter Melody Rain, apparently she is in the 90 percentile of height. The funny part here is that the Doctor after telling Covino that his daughter will be tall patted him on the back and said “I wonder where she gets it.” I mean Covino isn’t tall but he isn’t tiny either.

After the updates, we got to talking about Tiger Woods and the nonsense that is surrounding his family right now. I mean how stupid can this guy be? He has got money coming out his ass yet he still decides to cheat on his wife and then leave his name on a voicemail to some nussie asking her to change her message so his wife will not know it is a girl’s phone if she called the number. For real, come on! Then this carried into what you should not say about this topic in front of your woman. This includes “I feel bad for Tiger,” or “Why are those hookers selling Tiger out,” and my personal favorite “Why wasn’t Tiger smarter?”

Then we had a surprise visitor in the studio, Jose from the Sirius Liquid Metal Channel popped in to see what was up. Rich was in the middle of a story involving him going to court this morning when Jose entered so after we said hello Rich finished up the story. One day Rich drove to get his haircut and then walked home, 3 days later when he needed his car he remembered that is was at a meter and found it with multiple tickets. His friend Sal the lawyer told him he could hook him up so they went to the court this morning and fortunately got all the tickets waved. This turned into Rich’s Dickey Stackhouse’s thought of the day: people with money and/or lawyers get off and walk free from their crimes.

Changing gears, Rich and Covino got to talking about how they got their jobs and what they came up with was that they were two extreme ass getters back in the day, before they were in committed relationships and that they were picked by maxim because of it. Overall what this little conversation ended up with was that Rich and Covino are just extreme so they deserve it.

Once we figured out that Rich and Covino are too extreme for everyone else we started to talk about when it is time for people to change their screen names. We figure that people first picked their screen names when they were younger and that many of them are goofy and childish. We figured that many people based their screen names on something that was popular back in the day but has no meaning today. We believe that if you fit into one of these categories you should do yourself a service and update your name.

After our first break we received a JB Watch update, we discussed our new watch of the fitness made simple guru John Basedow, because he drops the C&R name whenever he can.  A couple of days ago he talked about our show on Fox News, so good going Basedow, keep up the good work.

Once we were done with our JB watch update we had the pleasure of being joined by the some of the people behind the new sex toy, the Real Touch. Fortunately for us they brought Lisa Ann, a crazy hot porn star into the studio with them. The Real Touch is a new, kick ass device that simulates a porn scene (speed, feel, warmth and etc) that is connected to your cock and your computer. Lisa Ann is one of the porn stars that has her scenes encoded with the technology so guys can use the device to mimic having sex with her; she said it’s the closest possible without actually banging her. These guys got into some technical shit, but the best part of this skit is when Lisa Ann showed Spot how things were done; Spot used the device (on his fingers, calm down people) to mimic getting a blow job from Lisa, by the time his fingers “finished” he had a huge smile on his face.

After seeing the Real Touch in action we started to talk about Lisa Ann and her sex scenes and the guys that she picks to bang. She was very flirtatious and she decided to release her nice pair of chesticles so she could get Covino and Rich nervous, clearly she didn’t know them well because nothing gets them nervous. Since she had the Morlocks out anyway she asked if anyone wanted to get a feel so Rich decided that it was time for me to step it up. I got a nice feel and tried to describe them on the air, unfortunately for me she called me out for not looking her in the eye while her tits were in my hand; I said of course, your giant tits are in my hand, why would I look you in the eye…

After our second break we learned that it was Covino’s Dad’s Birthday, so happy Birthday Mr. Covino. Unfortunately for Covino’s dad he couldn’t just leave it at that, he decided that he had to rip on his parents a little bit for raising wild children. While Covino was in LA having his baby his parents were watching his dogs back in NJ; during this time many of Covino’s siblings dropped by his house to use it as their personal pads. He doesn’t like strangers and shit coming into his house, using his room, or touching any of his things, yet all these things happened when his siblings were there and he is angry. The first thing that pissed Covino off was the fact that all his vitamin waters were drunk and none were restocked and the thing that took the cake was that his unused stove that was clean as clean could be was used and dirty as shit. All Covino wanted to get across her is that he was upset that it went down the way it did and I think that he wanted our sympathy; he got it from me, but Rich and Spot thought he was acting like a crazy person.

During one of our smaller breaks Rich checked his iPhone and saw that Spot had played one of the retarded games on Facebook during our show. Of course we had to address this once we returned to the air and unsurprisingly everyone in the studio with the exception of Spot thought that every single one of the games on Facebook is gay. Spot tried to defend himself and Rich asked for callers to back Spot up but everyone that tried failed epically. End of conversation, Spot is gay for playing these games and he should stop immediately.

To end the day we got into our News Alerts which can be seen below as usual.

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

New Alerts for the Day:

Ronnie Wood who is 62 and from the Rolling Stones was arrested

ABC cancelled all things to do with Adam Lambert

Now the total number of girls coming out of the woodworks to say they slept with Tiger Woods is now 3

Fastest lawnmower is now topping in at 100 mph, old record is 80mph, who the fuck cares?

Mandy Moore is the number one search on AOL, what is this 2001?

H1N1 vaccines can possibly be causing miscarriages so be careful ladies

Jersey Shore premieres tonight on MTV, we are so fucking excited

Rich does the Mangina, not so surprising

Steven Segal’s show started last night, he really is the Lawman

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We started of this wed-nes-day with our normal BS but then we got our shit together and started getting into our topics. Covino lead off the show with a conversation about his “fighting” weight, which is the weight that feels right for a guy, the weight that you are comfortable with. The problem that we found is that fighting weight is hard to determine; you don’t want to be too heavy but you also don’t want to be a weakling. We figured that people should just get a scale.

Then we started talking about the awkward phone calls that we have made. We brought up a call that Spot made to a girl in the past, to ask her out, that we believed to the most awkward but Rich claimed that he made an even more epic call. It started because of a little device called a Real Touch that is a sex toy for men that fits over their cock and connects to their computers so it responds in real time with the porn that they are watching. Rich received one of them yesterday and took it home to use it, he hooked it up to the computer and went to enter the password but found that the password was invalid. He asked Spot for his password but that was invalid as well. Since Rich was so into using this device he ended up calling the VP of Marketing of the company to figure out what was going on. Rich had to play it off like he didn’t have his cock in his hand so the guy wouldn’t think he was a wacko. By the time he had the guy on the phone however he had already beat it and didn’t even want to use the thing.

On a similar note Covino brought up a new rape deterrent for woman that is inserted into a woman’s pusseta that snags a rapists cock on spikes when they go to pull out. It sounds like a torture device to me but it seems like it would work perfectly on preventing rape.

At the end of our first hour we got into our News Alerts, which can be seen below, but when Rich dropped the Covino might be gay bomb we moved on to talk about that. Rich thinks that Covino is too picky when it comes to women and that he constantly thinks women aren’t hot enough, therefore Covino must be a cock gobbler. Covino fought back with that he is older now and therefore knows what his standards are now, hotness isn’t just enough now, he said that he is a catch (a lesson I believed he learned from his mom). Clearly Covino isn’t gay but that doesn’t mean we cannot rag on him, just to see his face turn red.

After going through the numerous News Alerts that we had today Rich told us about the gym in his new building. He said that everything in the gym is top class, everything except the smell that is. According to Rich the gym smells like Indian people, which according to Rich, arises from the food that they eat and their culture. To be clear we aren’t talking about all Indian people, just the ones that are smelly. Covino says that this makes Rich a racist but Rich says that if it is a fact it isn’t racist. This topic snowballed into a discussion on the smells that different races have and hilarity ensued.

Since the racist comment discussion took the rest of our second hour we started off the top of our last hour with an interview with Alyson Hannigan, from How I Met Your Mother, that Covino and Rich got earlier today when they ran into her. Not only is she a hottie, but she was smart and funny.

After the interview played we had the honor of welcoming Jim Norton, a famous comedian, into the studio. Jim was here to discuss his upcoming comedy shows going down soon at Caroline’s, but we also got his opinion on the Guido craze that is going on now. We played him the intro to the New MTV show The Jersey Shore and then got his reaction. Let me tell you that this guy is fucking hysterical; he doesn’t have a problem with the show, even though it will embarrass his home state, but he doesn’t see the point in people caring about “these fucking Guys.” Then we go to talking about the nonsense that is surrounding Tiger Woods right now. Jim said that it is the media’s fault that we just cannot leave this guy alone.

After Jim left the studio we played some Ticklesack classics along with some new songs before getting into the list of top 10 Porn Stars that we received from RoadheadRules.com:

10)Leah Luv     9) Hillary Scott     8)Alexis Love     7)Sasha Grey     6)Shawna Lenne

5) Jada Fire     4) Lexi Belle     3) Alexis Texas     2)Jenna haze     1)Bree Olson

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

New Alerts for the Day:

Lisa Loeb, nussie from the 90s, has a baby at 41! Congratulations

Tiger Woods released a statement which stated that he feels like he let his family down

Google is limiting their free news access, now you can only have 5 clicks before you have to start paying for it

FIFA says there will be no extra refs during the world cup and no instant replay…Bogus!

50 year old video surfaced of Marilyn Monroe smoking a joint…Awesome!

Meredith Baxter Bernie comes out as a lesbian

Rich thinks that Covino is gay because he is too picky

Adam Lambert will not apologize for his performance at the AMAs

Hello all C&R listeners out there, this is Maxamillion the “Intern” giving you an update on today’s show just in case you missed it, which we know you didn’t mean to do…

We are back for a Pussification of America Tuuuuesday, my favorite day of the week. We started off with a little talk about Christmas and Covino’s baby Melody. Then we quickly changed gears to talk about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show tonight and the desensitized men that are able to watch it. Apparently the best chance you get to see anything good is a brief ass shot, so we think it isn’t even worth watching.

Then Rich brought up how Covino and Spot always try to pull things over on him.  This morning before the show Covino was singing some lyrics from the Walk like an Egyptian Song by the Bangles and Rich constantly told him he was singing the wrong lyrics. So once we were on the air we brought it up again and listened to the song, and the Bangles actually did say that all the cops in the doughnut shops say oh whey oh.

After proving Rich wrong and we talked about a new thing that we have going on with our show, JB Watch. John Basedow the fitness guru from Fitness Made Simple, who Covino thinks is the most shameless promoter of all time, drops the C&R name when he goes onto different shows. We think that this is awesome so we started the JB Watch. Our new goal is to watch JB when he goes onto the different shows to see how often he will drop our name.

Then we moved onto talking about practical gift giving for the holidays. Spot started this off by telling us that he plans on getting his girlfriend an Elliptical machine for Christmas. We told him that it was a horrible idea because ladies want romantic gifts, practical gifts are for men. I mean I would get my father a tool box but I’m not about to get my lady friend a toaster. Nussies want gifts that pull at the heart strings and giving her a piece of work out equipment will make her think you are calling her fat. This topic evolved into a discussion about gifts that were given in the past that ended up being epic failures. We summed it up with: a bad gift is something the nussie wants or needs; something outside the box is a good gift.

Then we switched gears to start talking about something that as a guy, you know you are bad at. We came up with this topic because of Stan T. from the Morning Mash Up; he just has no sense of direction. We called Stan T. into the studio so he could talk this over with us. We know that every guy has something that he knows that as a guy he should be able to do, but that he just cannot. Covino and Rich felt that we should all discuss our short comings on the air so we could get them out in the open and work on solving them. Covino says that the easiest way to solve these problems is to just not do them in the first place; if you are a bad dancer, then just don’t dance, it’s that simple.

Then we talked briefly about being a father and being proud of your kids. We discussed being more proud of your children when they achieve something versus when you achieved the same thing you were a kid. Covino said that he cannot think that far ahead since his daughter is less than a month old but before Stan T. left he said that once you assume the role of a father you will forever want your children to do better than you did when you were a kid.

After Stan T. left we talked about our News Alerts that can be seen below and some of the new music that Covino and Rich have been listening to, like the Crooked Vultures or the song New Moon Rising by Wolfmother. This brought us to a very interesting topic; does finding out whom sings a song you like change the way you feel about the song.  Covino told us about when he found out the song Quit Playing Games with my Heart from 1997 was sung by the backstreet boys; before finding out he thought it was a good song, then he realized the backstreet boys were a bunch of skinny white fags and it changed his opinion of the song.

After the song discussion we talked about how fucked up Direct TV with all their extra charges for stuff that they used to give out for free. Rich is moving into a new apartment and wants to keep Direct TV, but they told him he needs to pay mad loot for a new box and pay to cancel the ones from his previous location. What the fuck Direct TV, he isn’t trying to cancel his service, but I think that he has a reason to now. Why do these things need to be so hard?

At the top of our last hour of the show we played an interview by Adrian Pasdar. I was a little upset because I wanted to meet the guy myself to tell him that he is awesome, but just listening to the interview was cool. The guy seemed mad nice and pretty funny so I guess the interview was better than nothing at all.

Then we finally got into the Pussification of America which is anything that makes our country more pussy. Covino started out this topic by saying that he has heard people get angry when someone says Merry Xmas to them; apparently you have to say Happy Holidays now. A Xmas tree is now a holiday tree and a menorah is now holiday candles…bullshit! Quickly we moved on to talk about Jersey and about how people have been obsessed with Guidos, a new show is starting on Thursday and the douche bags on it couldn’t look funnier, now New Jersians want to cancel the show because it makes Jersey look bad, come on Jersey stop being so pussy! A couple in Bethlehem, Penn got arrested for not tipping a waitress the mandatory 18%; since when can a waiter call the cops when they don’t tip, this is crazy! I love Pussification tuuuuesdays because it gives me outlets for my rage, America stop being Pussy!

We did a lot today and will be back tomorrow, so make sure you catch us on the air. Although I would like to close with my own words the best ones to use come from Rich and Covino themselves: Arrivederci and See You in the Promised Land!

New Alerts for the Day:

Most popular emblem of 2009 was the Fleur de Lis: Saints brought themselves to 11-0

Former Ms. Argentina died after a butt implant surgery

Chelsea Clinton is engaged and looking to get married this summer

First Asian Model will appear in Victoria’s Secret show

Obama sends 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan

Bighotdog.com has a 7lb $40 hot dog, we think we might be able to get Spot to chow one of these down

Swagger is most used word in 2009

Alec Baldwin will quit acting in 2012, it is about time…

New Ford Mustang design has been reveled and it looks dope